


Hummus

by Automaticwaffles



Category: Troyler - Fandom
Genre: Hummus, M/M, Smut, dont take this serious guys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-03
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-16 01:03:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2250057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Automaticwaffles/pseuds/Automaticwaffles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>we find out what happens to troyes laundromat hostages</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. hummus

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not even in the troyler fandom, and all I know about is the hummus, so yeah, here it is rudi

Tyler got the hummus and lubed his dick up with it, then ate some hummus and ate Troyes asshole. He let the remaining hummus stay, because he knew his dick was too big to not have a lot of lube. He stuck it in.  
"Omg!" Troye said.  
Tyler then cummed and they both exploded.  
Hummus.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She wanted a second chapter I'm dying. So like, there ya go

Seagull Scientists got their hairs and made a clone of them and brought them back as robots. The seagulls were also named Tyler and Troye.  
"Lol we did it doe." Seagull Tyler said.  
"Yep." The other said.  
They banged because they were happy with themselves and exploded.  
Tyler 9000 grabbed Troye 9000's robot penis and oiled it up. This time Tyler would bottom. Troye stuck it in.  
"Does not compute." Tyler 9000 said.  
They both exploded and nothing was left but the robot penis inside a robot butt.  
Robo-hummus


	3. Cavehummus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know anymore. Expect another chapter though.

It was 3000000 B.C. (Or something) and CaveTyler had a massive boulder for CaveTroye. CaveTyler went up to CaveTroye.  
"Me want put my mammoth in your cave." CaveTyler said.  
"Okay." CaveTroye said.  
CaveTyler threw CaveTroye into the nearest cave and started to bang their clubs together.   
**if u know wut I mean (; **  
"ROCK COCK." CaveTyler screamed.  
They cummed and exploded. The explosion was so huge it killed all the dinosaurs and the dinosaurs only for some reason, except the birds, birds are like, dinosaurs' cousins. Bet you didn't know that. But that's why there aren't any actual dinosaurs today.


	4. Chapter 4

Tyler got to twerking in the mirror. He wanted to make sure his butt didn't look like a pancake having a seizure. It didnt, tbh, it looked hella good and bouncy. He kept this up until he got hungry.   
"Im hungry, you should make me a sandwhich, Troye." "Fuck that." Troye said.   
"Naw, fuck this." Tyler said flipping on his stomach and smackin his foyne booty.  
"Mmkay." Troye said.  
And he did. He fucked Tyler hella hard and didn't stop until Tylers ass got to lookin a pancake from being pounded so hard.   
"Lmaoo, its night time so we should have pancakes for dinner. Especially since ya ass is lookin like one."   
"Fuck that." Tyler said.  
"Naw, fuck this." Troye said.   
They created a black hole in the space time continuum and created an infinite cycle.


	5. mchummus

Tyler and Troye were working at McDonalds, because they needed some extra scrilla.  
"Why are we working heeeerrrreee?" Tyler complained.  
"Because you wanted to put all our stocks in llamas." Troye said lowering the fries into the vat thingy.  
"Like a dumbass..." He said under his breath walking away.  
"Exsqueeze me?" Tyler asked.  
"You heard me." Troye said getting the buns out from the back, or wherever they keep the extra buns I've never worked at McDonald's, chill.  
"I really didn't."  
"Oh.... I said... _these_ buns don't have to be the only buns with meat in them." Troye said lifting up the bag of buns.  
"That's not what you said, you said something shorter." Tyler said confused.  
"Omg just fuck me." He said pulling Tyler down to the greasy floors.  
They banged until their pennies //I'm gunna call a penis a penny from now on// flew off and landed in with the fries.  
A big black woman then entered and ordered a large fry.  
Even if she asked for a small, she would've gotten a large, if you know what I mean (;  
The next day they were caught on the security tapes and were fired.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Troye holds up a laundry mat

"So it's almost summertime, Tyler." Troye said.  
"Great observation! Where's the cookies you deserve one."  
Troye crossed his arms, "Are you mocking me?"  
Tyler mimicked Troye's movements, "Absolutely not!"  
 "You are. Wow. I can't believe this." He sniffled, "Like literally what have I done to deserve this?" Troye asked wiping a tear away from his eye.  
"Well you got us fired from McDonald's. And stop crying you're being dramatic."  
"YOU'RE BEING DRAMATIC!" Troye screamed before pushing Tyler out of his way, he ran across the street to a laundry mat.  
Tyler sighed, "Not again." He chased after Troye almost getting hit like four times. He made it. But not in time.  
Troye had already taken 4 people hostage, a 24 year old college student on her last year, a couple from Guatamala, and a 42 year old woman asking which bus route to take to get home.  
"Troye!"   
He responded to his name pointing something at his victims.  
"What even do you have? Troye let me in."  
"NAW!"  
"ohmygod." Tyler pressed against the glass reassuring the people, "He does this all the time don't worry."  
The people gave confused looks to each other and Tyler.  
"What are you holding, Troye?" He walked around the window to get an angle.  
A spoon. It was a spoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUNDUNDUN  
> cliffhanger, not really, sorry  
> ig @wxndows  
> tumblr @vvxndows


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we find out what happens to troyes laundromat hostages

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not racist i promise

"Okay, first of all, what the FUCK, Troye?"  
"I'm tired of you being such a little twat, Tyler!"  
"So, what? You're just gunna "shoot" these people with a spoon?"  
Troye huffed, "You don't wanna know what im gunna do!"  
Stephanie (the 24 year old) seductively chimed in, "I kinda wanna know actually."  
Troye, Tyler, the confused old lady, and the couple from Guatemala looked at the girl.  
"Oh, no, sorry honey, he plays the flute." Tyler said still against the glass.  
"What?"  
"He likes to play swords."  
Stephanie paused, "Huh?"  
"I SUCK DICK YOU DUMB BETCH!"  
A 4' 9" asain manager came out from the back room.  
"Wussa aw dis yerring abo-" He stopped when he saw Troye, the spoon and his 4 victims againts the wall.  
"Doh shit, I caw da porrice!"  
The manager began to run to his back room but, but Troye threw the spoon, and stuck the manager in his back.  
"Doh, fried rice I'm hit!"  
He fell down and died.  
Everyone screamed even Troye, he felt really bad.  
He wrote a sticky note, "Sry ):" and placed it on the guys back.  
"Are you ready to go now, Troye." Still outside.  
"Tsk, ugch, I guess. Yall are boring hostages." He flicked a hand at them.  
Troye unlocked the door, halfway out, "Oh, do any of you guys have instagram? You should follow me."  
The confused lady was the only one to have an instagram.  
"Omg what's your user?" He pulled out his phone. She typed "baddest_trapqueenXX"  
"Ill follow you back when I get home. If someone can get me some fuckin directions."  
"Okay! Well good luck with that." Troye smiled, waved and walked out. He grabbed Tyler's arm and whispered in his ear, "I don't think that bitch gon follow me back. I don't care, her feed was ugly, anyways."  
"Yeah whatever lets just go home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shits getting real, people are dying  
> ill try to make some less serious/death stuff
> 
> instagram // wxndows


End file.
